My sin, my confession, my healing
“No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” 1 John 3:6
I read so much by so many people talking about Grace and sin. Let me say this at the outset- none of us- not a single one has Grace in a box!
The same mentality that would say they have Grace all figured out is the one that will tell you that they have God all figured out as well – its a joke at best to assume that you could ever have any element of God figured out.
Brennan Manning in his book “The Ragamuffin Gospel” claims that one of the greatest problems in the modern church and indeed in Christianity is that God has lost all mystery – as if we have to explain Him and know exactly what He is like and about.
Remember the same God that you believe in if indeed its God also told the children of Israel to slaughter innocent women and children, told one of His prophets to marry a hooker and must have been pro-incest otherwise we wouldn’t be here.
How do we reconcile this? We dont! We accept it in Faith knowing that God is Love and rest in that idea without having to prove Him or fight for Him. Rest in the knowledge that He Loves You more than you could ever imagine humanly possible because its not humanly possible is Heavenly Freely given!
I am a ragamuffin and of that I am certain. I am a porn addict that learned at an early age that fantasy was the best escape to reality because I was so very bad God was allowing my dad and my hero to die. Because this happened at an early age porn and fantasy still have triggers in my life.
Porn and fantasy causes distance between the ones I love, it distances me from any idea of acceptance of the beautiful pain of this moment and when I slip as I often do it is the easiest way for the devil to try to guilt me (gain a foothold). Is it a sin against my wife and our relationship? Yes! Is it a sin against God? No!
I am no longer under the law – how can I go on sinning as it ask in 1 John in the present progressive?
Does this keep me humbled and knowing how great and wide and deep and amazing His Love is? YOU BET IT DOES!
Do my actions hurt my relationship with God? Yes in this way- the devil brings in condemnation and guilt which makes me think something has seperated me from the Love of God.
Herein lies Grace- not that I have earned it because I haven’t! Herein lies Grace- not that I deserve it because I don’t! But remember Grace comes from the source of LOVE like we cannot now or ever comprehend!
If you like my writing and my Bible studies know this – they were written by a porn addict, ragamuffin who isn’t capable of Love on His own but he is Loved by the Author of Love- GOD!
